All   About   Sex  

This Website
A Mission Statement... And More

"We are entering a new age.   What the Sexual Revolution of the 1960's did for women, the 2000's will do for adolescents.
LIBERATION!    ...At Last!"

~ Your Webmaster
© 1997 All About Sex

What Is The Mission, or Goal?
Why Now?   Why Us?
Future Plans
Who Is Behind It?
Isn't It Illegal To
             Tell Kids About Sex?
Interested In Helping?
"SEXUALITY IS JUST PART OF BEING HUMAN...                 
                  ...UNLESS YOU'RE AN AMERICAN TEENAGER"

Teenagers in other countries are having intercourse as often as teens in the U.S.,   but they're not getting pregnant or giving birth at even half the rate.

Debra Haffner. SIECUS President
New York Times, April 1997


© Copyright 1997 / All About Sex /rbb
All Rights Reserved



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What Is The Goal, or "Mission Statement" Of This Website?

Hopefully, if you've read through the site you already have a pretty good idea.  Or maybe you read the quote on the home page about giving our adolescents the opportunity to "...speak so eloquently about their sexual and moral dilemmas". 

THE FIRST GOAL:

There are two main goals at this website, the first being to give that opportunity to today's adolescents - a safe, honest and sex-positive atmosphere where they can express their opinion on important sexual issues and begin to learn about their own sexuality..  Other websites do offer teens a chance to talk about a lot of subjects, sex being one of them, but there is a definite pattern among them... they are all pretty negative on sex, offering basic facts only and pushing abstinence as the "normal" thing people do.  No alternatives offered 

We at All About Sex (we meaning the adults, teens and kids who support this site by speaking out here and by sending in articles for possible posting, and those sex-education professionals who have volunteered their time to do questions and answers) believe that this is wrong and harmful.  We also believe that the currently popular (or so it would seem) concept that all sexual activity was somehow intended by God or Nature to be set aside for only one small portion of the world's population - legally married males and females (and then only with a member of the opposite sex) - is absurd, untruthful, and is NOT truly how "most" Americans feel.

At this site kids will be encouraged to feel GOOD about the sexual person that they are - especially during adolescence - and they will be encouraged to be independent thinkers and to think through their own feelings on certain topics.  They will see how other cultures deal with their children's sexuality and will probably be surprised to learn that other cultures actually encourage and support their children's sexuality!  They will see that every issue of sexuality has two or more sides and that other people think and believe like they do.  Sexuality is presented here as an incredible, beautiful and indeed, precious gift to the human race, and that intentionally denying it to one group of people or another is not at all healthy.  If you'd like to know more about the first of our goals, you can read more here.

THE SECOND GOAL:

The second goal is to make adults stop and really think about what we are saying and doing to our children and teenagers.  Adults need to realize that even with better sex education and a generally more open attitude about sex, today's kids are more confused than ever.  It's no wonder.  Even the statistics today are confusing.  For instance, we know that unwanted teen pregnancies and new incidents of AIDS are down considerably from past years, and yet a poll just released by MTV™ says that 87% of the teens having sexual intercourse today are not using a condom to protect against STD's and unwanted pregnancy  (anyone have a theory on this?).

We are not doing a good job in America, but we do have excellent examples to follow if we will just become determined enough to do it.  So, one mission of this website is to get adults - more specifically, parents - to take a bold step forward to actually lessen that confusion, perhaps even to the point of overturning laws that send negative messages to children about sex and making some significant, but painful, changes in our attitudes.  Our society needs to accept and understand a few things that science and "Mother Nature" are telling us about children and sex.  We need to accept that children have sexual thoughts, feelings and needs, just as everyone does, and that by remaining silent about sex, or focusing only on the "Just Say No" message, we leave them to figure it all out on their own.  It is not openness about sex that causes sexual misconduct and sexual problems, it is IGNORANCE and CONFUSION.  It is time for us to re-evaluate what we each feel about the subject of children and sex -- especially about adolescence and sex -- and realize that what we are doing right now, as a society, only makes it worse for kids. 

Hopefully, by listening to teens and pre-teens voice their feelings about sex, we can begin to be more accepting of their need to understand and express their natural, normal sexuality.  If you would like to think and learn more about why this is an important goal, you can follow this link.


One Final Note For The Guys...


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Why Now?   Why Us?

These are very important and pertinent questions.  "Why Now?" is because it is the right time for major change in America -- our society is becoming more and more sexually and morally screwed up.  The "Why Us?" is because someone has to do it, and our generation - and the one to follow - finally has the strength and the vehicle to effect that change.  The real question is not "why", rather, it is whether or not our society is willing to take the drastic steps it will take to change our society's attitudes about sex, sex education, and about sexuality.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world.
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Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."

~ Margaret Mead

Why Now? ...more            Why Us? ...more



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WHY NOW?

There are actually quite a number of things pointing to the end of the Century as the right time for a big, big change in our attitudes about our youth.  For one thing, people understand and have already accepted that our world is changing significantly as we approach the year 2000 and enter the Technology Age.  Technology and science have gone into a high-speed mode and is now moving so fast we can hardly keep up.  The Internet is erasing borders, overcoming stereotypes, removing barriers and closing the miles that have separated the cultures and societies of the world. 

And some people even believe that we will soon learn that we are not alone in the Universe.  Talk about changing society - if true, it would be something that would REALLY, REALLY shake us up, causing many to question old religious teachings and changing us in ways we cannot even imagine. 

Our children need for our society to virtually do a total reversal of what we've been taught about sex and sexuality.  Even though we've seen a decrease in new AIDS cases and a drop in the teen unwanted pregnancy rate for the last few years, the gradual change in openess about sex is moving too slowly.  Perhaps the kind of change we need to make for our children's sake needs to be one so drastic that people are virtually forced to either "get on board" or get left behind... forced to stand up and get on one side of the issue or the other.  Complacency is one of the greatest hurdles we face - way too many of us are standing by while political and religious groups like the Christian Coalition take over law-making in America.   They are hard at work finding new, deceitful ways to burrow into everyone else's lives, through requiring school prayer, restricting our freedoms, censoring printed and visual material, and further repressing adolescent sexuality with outrageous laws like the 1996 Welfare Reform Act.

It is time for us to turn around more than a Century of sexual repression and lies, and for us to make up our minds to change what we teach our children about sex.  Their mental, physical and sexual health are at stake and we must set aside our apprehensions and concerns about what the conservative older generation is going to think about us.  We simply must get past the uncomfortable feelings many parents have about talking to their kids about sex if we want things to change for them. 

Want a "sure-fire" way to avoid having to have "THE" talk with your kids? Our children are worth the effort - if we will just commit ourselves to change.

And the time for that change is RIGHT NOW.  We need to turn around over a Century of sexual repression, deception and outright lies - and it is NOT going to be easy.  We CAN do it, if we will make the committment, even if it is just to ourselves, to do more to encourage our nation's youth about their sexuality.  Rather than pretending that our children don't have a sexual side - sexual feelings and curiosity - we can begin looking for ways that will allow kids to express their sexual feelings and explore those curiosities in a safe, loving, nurturing and educational atmosphere.

Maybe you have some ideas on what, exactly, would be a safe and healthy way for kids to express their sexual thoughts and feelings... tell us about it.


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WHY US?

This is much easier to explain.  It is mostly because our generation of adults (those born after 1960) most likely has the strongest memories of our childhood and the sexual feelings and curiosities we had back then.  Also, we experienced the "Sexual Revolution" of the 60's and early 70's, AND we have experienced the backlash from that revolution... the once again repressive 80's and early 1990's.  We understand better than previous generations that part of childhood is self-discovery - learning who you are, as a person, what you like and don't like (and we're not talking about broccoli!), how humorous you are, what principles and morals you believe to be correct and what you believe to be false, and how you feel about yourself, your gender, your body, and how sexual you are.

Parents already address ways to encourage and gently nudge their children in the right direction, hoping that they will draw upon parental influence to make good, healthy and safe decisions for themselves.  Except that parents seem to be leaving out one of those aspects of growing up... sexuality.  It is just easier, it seems, to gloss over that issue and pretend or assume that your child does not need any assurance, encouragement, or any outlet for, their sexual thoughts, feelings, curiosities and needs.  But, really, that's another discussion.

Those of us under the age of, say... 39, do indeed appear to have a more open mind to really understanding our children's feelings, wishes and needs.  Because we remember so well our own adolescence, our generation and those following simply see things differently than did previous generations.  We know more about life and about the world than was known in past decades, and we want so much for future generations of children to have it easier and more relaxed than we did.  We are a generation who is strong and who has seen the after-effects of denying children their natural sexuality... significant sexual misconduct and sex-related crimes (not too mention the creation of an entire industry dedicated to finding the inner "abused child" in each of us).

We are much more socially conscious, and more understanding about sexual issues than was previous generations.  We want this change, even if older, more conservative generations do not, and we are strong enough, and numerous enough to stand up and "be counted", so to speak, and we may very well be the first generation to come along with the numbers, the unity, and the will to make a difference in our society on this issue.

So, of course it has to be US!



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Future Plans For This Site

Wow!  Things around here are moving so fast that we can hardly keep up!  At first, we thought that this site would take 6 months to a year to really begin to attract people interested in this topic, and to attract other like-minded individuals to participate in the site.  WRONG!

A Few weeks ago this site was opened to a limited number of viewers on a "test" basis  (if you're into the 'net, it's called a "beta" test)  and the response has been overwhelming!  We'll have a "What People Are Saying About AAS" page very soon, and you might guess from our "tone" that it has been a positive response.  The number of sex educators and health-care professionals coming forward asking what they can do to help has been fantastic and very reassuring.  Now it looks as though we will be able to do some of the things we didn't think would be possible.  These are some of the things we want to see here, or do here, in the near future, but much of the site should still be shaped by the kids, teens and adults participating in the site and telling us what they want to know about.

  • Larger Focus On Safe Sex & Responsibility
  • Learning How To Be A Good Lover
  • Continued Focus On Adolescent Sexual Rights
  • Debates Over What Is And Is Not "Moral"
  • Taking Questions From Kids, Answered Publicly By Sex Education Professionals
  • Establishing Regular Weekly/Monthly Features, Articles, Polls
  • Adult Supervised/Moderated Scheduled Chat Sessions   (with "flirting" allowed!)
  • Suggested Class Projects For Sexuality and Health Classes
  • More In-Depth Study of Sexuality In Other Cultures
  • More In-Depth Study of Interesting Topics   (like how orgasm works and how our "Love Maps" are created by age 8)
  • Discussing Sex and Religion
  • Legislative And Activism Alerts
  • Online Petitions Targeting Law Makers
  • Adult Supervised/Moderated Forum Postings To Exchange Ideas
  • A Section Devoted To Informing People Of The Legal Age Of Consent In Their State
  • A Whole Lot More!!


      If any of these things raise a particular "spark" in you and you'd like to help with research, or if any of these fall under your area of expertise and you would like to help, please let us know!  Contact the webmaster at:   Webmaster@AllAboutSex.org


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Who Is Behind This Site?

This website is primarily a collection of articles collected from all over the net (and a few from the print media) that are written by different people and does not represent any one organization.  Specific articles will show where they were obtained, who wrote them, and proper credits and copyrights are shown.  Also, this website is made up of statements on issues made by the pre-teens, teens and adults who participate in the moderated discussions.  In effect, this is thier website -- your website -- and is intended to give a platform to those who have been denied a voice on sexual issues in the past, our nation's youth.

Of course, someone had to start this site, and has to moderate and maintain the website, as well as screen incoming postings to ensure that they are appropriate for all age groups for that section.  I have assumed that role for the time being and am looking for sex education professionals who are interested in helping with that screening process, or who would care to answer questions posed by the site's participants.  This seems like the appropriate time to make sure everyone understands that I am NOT holding myself out to be a professional sex educator or therapist.  Because of that, All About Sex does not take in sexuality questions and give answers, at least not until a professional does volunteer.

Update - 3 January, 1998 - Good news! Some professionals have already come forward volunteering to do this.  We could still use more, and we are now deciding how to set these up - mostly for teens, pre-teens, and parent.  We'll let everyone know as soon as we work out the logistics and details. If you would like to know more about who I am, you are welcome to follow this link.    (It's pretty boring, though)


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Isn't It Illegal To Tell Kids About Sex?

If you listen to the evening news, or pay much attention to the cries of political groups like the Christian Coalition or the OCAF, you could get the impression that American society has spoken!  And that the Internet is incredibly dangerous - both in terms of predators AND in the terms of giving children too much knowledge (about sex).  However, most of us typical, everyday citizens know that this is just hype and rhetoric to support a politically-driven extreme religious agenda.

Unfortunately, because we do, indeed, love and care about our children, American society has been swept up in the current "protecting children" frenzy and hysteria.  One of the most depressing things about our culture - that we so often listen to the hysterical cries of groups like "Enough Is Enough" anti-pornagraphy group, or worse, groups like the OCAF (Oklahoman's For Children And Families).  The problem with that is that while these groups claim to be "protecting children" their real motives lie elsewhere, safely tucked away so that it is not so obvious to people that they are being pandered to.

So... is it illegal to talk to children about sex?  Not right now, and hopefully it never will be.  If we continue, however, to allow these groups to control so many of our laws and so much of Congress, it very likely will be soon - .  The 1996 Welfare Reform Act, the CDA and CDA-2, the arrest of young children for "abusing each other", and censorship issues like the incident in Oklahoma City, where the OCAF group convinced the police to actually raid people's homes who had rented a popular Academy Award-winning film (the Tin Drum) from Blockbuster Video (Blockbuster turned over the rental records!), are just a few of the examples of how hysterical we really have become over children and how it is harming our society - especially our children. 

This website is as much a FREE SPEECH statement as it is a message that we need to stop and really think about what we are doing to our children and to our society.  It is ironic that we now have to rely on Free Speech and Separation Of Church & State Ammendments to protect us (including our children) from the supposed "protectors".  BTW, we're not the only ones saying this - many truly family-oriented organizations and publications are beginning to say the same thing.

Late Note: 3 January, 1998 - Though we, specifically, have not been targeted, the principles and goals we believe in are currently under a major, major attack!  If this concerns you, you need to read the following article on the SIECUS website.  Be forewarned, however, it a terrifying thing happening that is spoken of in that document, and it is causing many of us more than just a little anxiety.

http://www.siecus.org/news/news0003.html


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Are You Interested In Helping?

First of all ~ That Is GREAT!

Your participation is very much wanted here, and there are definitely things people can do to help out.  Even though the website was one person's idea, it is not intended to remain that way.  One of the main things this site IS intended to do is to unite those of us who feel very good about sex and today's youth.  Another goal is to give voice to those who are most affected by sex in our current society and the decisions being made by other adults right now - kids - something not really ever given to them in the past.  Since those other adults will be terrified of what comes from this unity, this website will be in jeopardy until it gains a strong enough foothold to withstand attacks from the religious extremists.  Your support, even if it is just an encouraging word to those administering the site, or to kids in general, will be our strength.

One parting thought before listing specific ways to help below.  Our children and our teens (yes, there is a difference) truly need us RIGHT NOW.  There is a large and powerful movement to further restrict childhood sexuality, putting it back behind closed doors again -- and using it as a political tool to serve their own selfish needs and wishes.  They are putting their religious political agenda before the health, happiness and best interest of our nation's children, and we have to stop them.  Other than a handful of organizations, each mired in their own controversies, we have NO support system in place for (already) sexually active kids.  That is, unless you are a gay, lesbian or bisexual teenager - there is a wealth of Internet and community support for them now (and it is very much needed)

But if they are just a plain old heterosexual youth, well...   they are pretty much on their own.  We need to change that!   And indeed, this website project is the first step in that change.

The homosexual community has put forth all these resources and support because they care so much for the youth of this nation struggling with their sexual orientation.  Don't we, of the straight community, love and care just as much for our kids?  Of course we do!    At least I hope we do.  But we are not united on this issue and we are not standing up to the bigotry and arrogance of those groups who say that their definition of sexuality, their definition of family, and their definition of normal sexual behavior is morally superior to those of the rest of us.  Until we unite and stand up on behalf of our teens and pre-teens, those other people are going to control the laws and social culture of our society.

Please, please stand up for our children's RIGHT to the natural sexuality they were given by God or Nature - they desperately need us!

Okay... end of speech.  Here are some specific things you could help with:

If you are a teen
If you are a pre-teen
If you are a parent
If you are a sex-education professional
If you are a counselor
If you are a Civil Rights attorney
If you are just a concerned & caring adult
If you are a pedophile








If You Are A Teen:

Your participation in shaping this new website is the most important.  Speaking out and being proud of who you are, and proud that you do, indeed, have sexual feelings, thoughts, dilemmas, desires, opinions and concerns.  Tell us what YOU want to talk about, sexually speaking, - what are you the most curious about?  What is the most difficult thing to understand about sexuality?   Are adults doing a good job of teaching young people about the enjoyment and positive aspects of sex?

Another way you can help is to tell your fellow teens about this site, if you are comfortable enough to do that.  Really reading the various opinions here and thinking through all sides of an issue before making a judgment is still another.  Telling your parents that you want to talk about sex at home and trying to make Mom and Dad comfortable with the fact that you have a sexual side is a great way for us to make some generational changes - not necessarily for you, but for your children when they begin their individual lives.

Last, you can help by watching for articles elsewhere that you think send a positive point of view about sex and sexuality and then either sending them to us or letting us know about them.  Being respectful of other people's feelings - even those uptight jerks trying to limit your sexuality - is also an important thing here. 

Oh yes, one other thing.  Right now, the volume of email being recieved by the website is managable. but if this website really takes off, it is possible that it won't be for very long.  We may need volunteers in the future to help sort out the email and direct it to the right people, so be thinking about that.  We also need some kids and teens with good spelling skills to proofread, check grammer and to verify all links are working.  Actually, that is something everyone can do while they are browsing through this site - don't hesitate to tell us when we screw up!



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If You Are A Pre-Teen:

First and foremost, you can help by making sure you have your parent's permission to be here... or better yet, bring them along!

Another way to help is to participate in the polls, and to tell us what you want to know more about.  Before doing either one, though, again - make sure Mom and Dad know what you are doing, and we would encourage you to respect their wishes, even if you don't agree with them.

Oh - something else - and this kinda depends on how your parents feel - but it is important to know that even though your parents have given you permission to be here, and are o.k. with you learning about sex, not all parents think this is cool.  In fact, some people may get downright upset about it - especially if they find out their child has been here without permission.  Or that their child saw this site when visiting you. 

Well, just like your parents have no doubt told you, sex is a very private and personal thing, and while there is nothing shameful about sex, it is very smart to keep it to yourself.  You may have been told that about some accepted sexual behavior at home - it needs to be very private.  So what we are saying is that it just is not a good idea to run around telling your friends about this website or that you have "discovered your sexuality".  It is better to keep these things to yourself.  If this is confusing to you, have Mom or Dad explain.

These things will help a lot to make sure this website is around for a long, long time, and we thank you for that.


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If You Are A Parent:

The biggest help you can give is to simply be supportive of this effort, and to spend time with your child or children here.  Sending in articles, carefully reading and re-reading the "Notes For Parents", and participating in the adult polls and pages will help also.

Since we are trying, with this site, to walk a VERY narrow line between making the site informative and educational, and keeping it fun and entertaining, we may occasionally present a topic that upsets or offends you.  Let us know if that happens - no one has ever tried something like this before and we have no real "model" to follow, and we will probably make some mistakes.  Not over reacting or taking things out of context, and thinking what was said by someone all the way through before judging are all things that will help this website take on a better shape.

No promise is being made here about removing something you find inapproriate.  (If we pulled everything someone didn't like here, it is doubtful there'd be any really useful material here at all)  We will re-examine the post, and probably run it past one of our volunteer professional sex educators, whether it stays up or comes down will just depend on the consensus.  Hopefully, it won't happen and we can all be reasonable and responsible.



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If You Are A Sex Education Professional:

Your help, in particular, is needed.  Some guidance and feedback is important, as is helping us to keep our facts straight.  Also, to keep our facts and our opinions clearly identified as such. 

We now have a few professional and very qualified sex educators volunteer to take questions from this website, but we would like to have a few more.  The idea, we think, will be to either divide questions into categories and direct them to whomever is responsible for that category, or to rotate the questions to lessen the load for any one individual.  That approach would also help us to make sure our responses are as diverse as is our world -- we don't want to be just one flavor - we want to be all 31!

If you are interested, have the time, and are qualified to do this type of thing, or wish to write a monthly/weekly column, or take a single topic and provide some research and documentation, please contact the webmaster.

Another idea that has been suggested is that perhaps a progressive sex educator would like to do some research on one particular topic as a "class project" with their students.  One topic that has been asked about is a section of the site that lists and keeps up with the Age Of Consent across America, and perhaps even in other cultures as well.  Another idea is to have a class or group of students to keep up with current legislation before Congress and State Legislators that could possibly affect children and/or teenagers and their sexuality.  They would then maintain a section of the site with the latest information.   Really, we are very open to other ideas, too, and we are not particular about the age group of the students.  We trust the teacher to know when a subject is or is not appropriate for their particular class.

We all want to make a difference in the future of our children, and if this site is strong and popular (and we think it will be) and makes it through the first year, it will be a place where you can actually make that difference.  Don't wait, though.  Your help and support is needed right now.


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If You Are A Counselor:

Your help, in particular, is needed.  Some guidance and feedback is important, as is helping us to keep our facts straight.  Also, to keep our facts and our opinions clearly identified as such.  It would also be helpful to know what problems or questions kids are bringing to you most often.

We now have a few professional and very qualified sex educators volunteer to take questions from this website, but we would like to have a few more.  The idea, we think, will be to either divide questions into categories and direct them to whomever is responsible for that category, or to rotate the questions to lessen the load for any one individual.  That approach would also help us to make sure our responses are as diverse as is our world -- we don't want to be just one flavor - we want to be all 31!

If you are interested, have the time, and are qualified to do this type of thing, or wish to write a monthly/weekly column, or take a single topic and provide some research and documentation, please contact the webmaster.

Another idea that has been suggested is that perhaps a progressive sex educator would like to do some research on one particular topic as a "class project" with their students.  One topic that has been asked about is a section of the site that lists and keeps up with the Age Of Consent across America, and perhaps even in other cultures as well.  Another idea is to have a class or group of students to keep up with current legislation before Congress and State Legislators that could possibly affect children and/or teenagers and their sexuality.  They would then maintain a section of the site with the latest information.   Really, we are very open to other ideas, too, and we are not particular about the age group of the students.  We trust the teacher to know when a subject is or is not appropriate for their particular class.

If you are interested, have the time, and are qualified to do this type of thing, or wish to write a monthly/weekly column, or take a single topic and provide some research and documentation, please contact the webmaster.

We all want to make a difference in the future of our children, and if this site is strong and popular and makes it through the first year, it will be a place where you can actually make that difference.  Don't wait, though, your help and support is needed right now.



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If You Are A Caring, Concerned Adult:

Support, support, support!  By providing feedback, ideas, and in general, warding off evil spirits would be great.  Sending in articles you find elsewhere on the net and talking about this website on your own websites will be great, also.

You can probably guess that this site will not go over very well with some people, and hopefully they will leave us alone.  If this site disappears suddenly, or anything else seems amiss, ask about it.  It is currently hosted on Webcom servers, one of the largest hosts in the U.S., and they have promised to support free speech on the Internet.

Oh - One other thing...   we are looking for medical doctor, preferably a Urologist or OB-GYN, to answer a couple of muscle questions for one particular article being written.  No long-term commitment or series of questions - just a couple right now to make sure the article being done is medically accurate.  Contact the Webmaster.


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If You Are A Civil Rights Attorney

There is little doubt that this website will stir peoples emotions, even though that is the very kind of attitude we want to change.  We believe that we are well within Free Speech Rights, and that we have made reasonable efforts to discourage children from coming to this site without parental supervision or permission.  We have no explicit information (we tried to keep the language and even the sexual humor very light and acceptable for pre-teens).  Soon, a password-protected area with slightly more mature humor or material may be opened. 

Still, we recognize that people are speaking out here against a very, very powerful and controlling group of people, and that they may take measures to censor what is being said here.  Possibly even legal action or worse, police action.  Hopefully, that won't happen - but if it does, we want to be ready.  Having protection by a Civil Rights organization such as the ACLU may become very important.

If you feel that you could help by reviewing the site from time to time and advising as to it's legal status, that would be very helpful and very comforting.  We also need a civil rights lawyer to "officially" review the site as it is started up, and believe it will add a great deal to our credibility.  We do not WANT to break any laws, but intent, alone, would not be an adequate defense.  If you work for an organization such as the ACLU, offering your protection or promising to defend the existance of this site would be very welcomed.  Please contact the webmaster.


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If You Are A Pedophile:

Please don't think this is a joke - this is a serious request that we hope you will honor.  We know that this website, just by it's very nature, will attract people who are sexually attracted to children.  Please know that there is nothing here that will serve to gratify you or is likely to excite you.  There is no way to contact any other person visiting the site and only first names and ages are ever posted.  There are no pictures like you might expect to find at a boy-lovers or girl-lovers website, and we are not seeking or displaying anyone's sexual fantasies.  Also, there is no chat room and no unmoderated postings.

Since you claim to have a love for children, and that most of you are not harmful, we would ask that you show that by staying away from this site and allowing us to have a positive exchange without having attention diverted to your particular issue of sexuality.  It would also be helpful if you did not set a bookmark here and do not promote this site in any way among your peers.  If you have an underage lover and are pointing them to this site for their benefit, they are welcome here.  You cannot expect, however, that there won't be discussions here that may not be favorable towards such a relationship.  Nor can you expect that your underage lover will not be encouraged to seek out a relationship with someone closer to their own age.

If you truly want children and teens to be free of sexual repression and to have the right to explore their sexuality, you will not make an issue of this site or cause unwanted attention.   We have no way of keeping you from visiting and reading the information here on the site, but are simply asking that you please respect the goals of this website and realize that a more sexually open society serves everyone, yourself included.


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A Little More About The Webmaster

The Webmaster and original creator of this website is Randal Blackburn, an Internet Web Developer/Designer and Webmaster for a leading Internet Banking software company.  He has designed a number of websites and GUI interfaces, including one of the largest Planned Parenthood websites for Planned Parenthood of Houston and Southeast Texas (PPHSET).

The PPHSET website was his first "professional" job on the Internet, and was planned as a significant website in size and scope.  At that time (a couple of years ago) there were only a few Planned Parenthood websites, and almost NO information on sex-education, with most of that being resource lists for parents and other sex educators.  He worked with PPHSET for over six months, donating most of the time as a Planned Parenthood volunteer (well over 600 hours), until the site was officially opened the Summer of 1996.  He also worked closely with the educators there on the children's and teen's section, writing most of the content and then submitting it for approval. 

It was this work that sparked his interest in sex education and teen advocacy issues and he has spoken out often to encourage early sex education, loving touch, and Adolescent Sexual Rights.  One of his articles, "Family Values Do Not Include Sexual Health", about the 1996 Welfare Reform Act mandating a single narrow religious teaching with our tax dollars and denying children access to information on preventing unwanted pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Diseases, can be read on this site, along with many others.

Once his interest was kindled, it grew into a passion for speaking out on these issues, especially against "abstinence-based" teachings and the "religious right" (though he professes to have a strong faith in God and is not anti-religion).  He has traveled the world extensively and experienced life in many different cultures, always having observed how sexuality was so much more open and easy-going outside of the United States.  Much of the material for various articles and essays written here and elsewhere comes from reading many books by the nation's leading sex educators, theolegans and sexologists, as well as from research over the Internet.  Among the many websites he maintains is his own personal website and professional resumé.   If you have any questions for him, you may reach him at:    blckburn@gte.net


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Welfare Reform Act of 1996

¹   This is just one example of how we are putting political agendas way ahead of our children's health and happiness.  It is actually a new law that Congress has already passed that is not only extremely offensive, but is physically and emotionally harmful to children.  I believe that the first quoted statement is untruthful, and the second statement is a flat-out absolute LIE.  It is also the LAW now in the United States that all of us are now required to follow.  The following is a short excerpt about this new law from the SIECUS Summer97 newsletter:

    "The 1996 welfare reform law received a great deal of press, but almost none of it mentioned a new program to fund highly restrictive abstinence-only education programs."

    "This new federal initiative will provide nearly $88 million a year for the next five years for programs that focus EXCLUSIVELY on abstinence and that ARE PROHIBITED from teaching young people about pregnancy and STD prevention methods. Programs are REQUIRED BY LAW to teach that 'a mutually faithful monogamous relationship in the context of marriage is the expected standard of human sexual activity', and 'that sexual activity outside of marriage is likely to have harmful psychological and physical effects'."

What a load of bull!  Can you believe the nerve of these people?  I thought mandating a religious belief was against everything our forefathers stood for... (not too mention a violation of our Constitution!).


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Statistics

²    "Pregnant On Purpose" - Article in the August 1997 issue of TEEN Magazine by Alison Bell - p107 - Providing good statistical data on sexuality and teen pregnancy, citing the Alan Guttmacher Institute (NY) as it's source. --




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Thankfully, more and more organizations, publications and individuals are recognizing the harm coming from our nation's hysteria over "protecting" children.

A couple of interesting articles to read on this are:


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The First Goal

We know that there are teens out there who mouth the words that their parents and teachers want to hear, but who don't really believe the same way as their parents and teachers do, adding even more confusion to their feelings and desires.  We believe they deserve a place where they can learn interesting and untypical information about sex and sexuality without constantly being told not to do it.  Someplace they could safely explore various sexual topics and learn what other adolescents and adults are feeling and saying.  We also know what teens are saying all over the net about sex-education:  in school, it is clinical and boring, and only covers the biological (and occasionally, emotional) facts.  At home, it is either uncomfortable, or handed to them in the form of a book (being told to "be sure and ask us any questions you have..."), or it is non-existent, and they are left "on their own" to figure it out.

Kids today are smarter and more knowledgeable about sex than we ever were, and they want to know more than "just the facts" about it.  Someone recently made the observation that with every generation, it seems that we expect adolescents to re-invent sex, abandoning them to learn about it on their own... by trial and error.  And, of course, the only ones we hear about are the errors.  Teens and pre-teens want so very much to talk about sexuality, but they want to do so without constantly being told that it isn't "right" for them and that they should just "wait", or should "Just Say No!".  Also without constantly having to hear that they "are NOT ready" (ever heard of a self-fulling prophecy? - besides, whose fault, exactly, is it that they "are not ready"?). 

At this site they will learn some fascinating and exciting things about sexuality - especially in other countries - and about what will have to happen in this country before things can change.  They will also learn about some very surprising and controversial things about sex and sexuality as it exists in the world today.    THESE are the things they really want to know and talk about. 

Unfortunately, no one else has offered this kind of interaction, except the very, very adult newsgroups and chat rooms.  Kids today, whether parents like it or not, are using the Internet to flirt, to test, and to explore their sexuality... it is one reason so many teens are drawn to the predators that know this and look for those teens.  This website is a place where they can explore and talk - through moderated postings - and learn, without the risk of running into a child predator.  No email exchanges, no automatic, unchecked postings, and no chat rooms.  At the same time, however, we want them to feel that they can say anything here, somewhat anonymously, as long as they are respectful of other's feelings.  They need a place where they can be happy and proud of their sexuality - where they can feel good about it and be encouraged to explore it in safe ways.  No one is going to try and talk them out of sex, if that is what they have chosen, and no one will try to get them to become more sexual than they naturally are. 

One other thing - this website needs to be entertaining and light-humored to keep their attention - it's the same thing with adults who want to learn more about sex (especially about sex and sexuality in other cultures).  That is why we provide sexual humor, tastefully presented, which helps to "break the ice" between parent and child as they visit this site together.  It is also why we are working on a password-protected section that we're not sure will ever be opened - it depends largely on how you feel about this website (you need to let us know).  This is because it is about erotic storytelling, and about erotica in general, along with a little more "mature" sexual humor.  We have actually found several excellent and extremely erotic stories about adolescents discovering and reveling in their sexuality that are also short stories that send a positive message about the wonder and beauty and good feelings they should have about themselves and each other.  If we do put these up, in a password-protected area to keep young children from stumbling upon them, we risk the website's existence, and possibly being sent to prison -- just for telling a story! 

For some strange reason, many adults expect that teaching children about sexuality should NEVER, EVER excite or stimulate the minds and bodies of those being taught.  This is difficult to understand, especially among today's sex-educators, but that's the way it is.  So, your feedback on sexual stories with positive messages for kids is very much needed so that a sound decision can be made.  It will also help to know whether or not there are people out there who will back All About Sex up on that issue as an educational and Free Speach issue.



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The Second Goal

Although we adults have all experienced adolescence ourselves, our society seems to understand so little about it.  Debra Haffner, President of SIECUS, said it brilliantly in a full page ad placed in major newspapers last spring when she said: "SEXUALITY IS JUST PART OF BEING HUMAN...                 
                  ...UNLESS YOU'RE AN AMERICAN TEENAGER" and "WE EXPECT ADOLESCENTS TO REINVENT SEX EVERY GENERATION"

Current society is making things more confusing than ever for teens - and now for pre-teens also. Part of the population saying that "sex is a good thing, and not reserved for just one segment of the population"  (i.e. a married adult male and female). Another part says "sex is a good thing, but you really mustn't do it... you aren't ready".  And yet another part of American society saying that "children must be protected from all things sexual" and that "children should not HAVE to think about sex" (like they don't EVER think about it on their own.... yeah, right).

There are many, many adults in America and around the world who know that sex is not something bad and is not something created for adults only.  Those of us who know this have a responsibility to stand up for our children and make sure they know this.  Also, to support them in any way that we can as they begin a journey of self-discovery, and to convince other adults of the changes our society needs to make.  Full-page ads in newspapers like the one mentioned above are one really big step in the right direction.  However, those ads cost a lot of money, and federal grant money for sex education has become so restrictive (thanks to our conservatives-controlled Congress) that many organizations teaching about sex cannot qualify for it at all.  Supporting organizations like SIECUS with financial donations is one great way that you can help be a part of the movement to free adolescents of sexual repression and sexual guilt.

SIECUS is the Sexuality Information Education Council of the United States


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A Final Note For The Guys






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A Final Note For The Guys...

As you go through this website, you might get the impression that this is a website for girls.  Actually, this website is for EVERYONE - young and old, male and female, sexually experienced and those just learning about the sexual side of themselves. 

One reason you might have gotten this impression is that you see a lot of conversations going on around the net that seem to emphasize girls.  This is because at this point in time, American girls need encouragement to feel good about their sexuality and their changing bodies.  Boys need to feel good about those things, too, but there is a specific reason why it is being emphasized for girls.  This is because for many, many years, girls (like your mother) were told that sex was a bad thing -- a bad thing that "good girls" didn't do.

Sex was something dirty, and "good girls" shouldn't let themselves get "dirty" by letting boys touch or caress them, or worse, by engaging in sexual activity of any kind with them (including deep kissing).  Just thinking or saying some words, like "vulva", "penis", or "screw" were words that only "bad girls" even knew - or so everyone pretended).  People even pretended that girls never even thought about these things, even though they really knew better.  It sounds incredibly stupid, but that is the way things really were. 

Being taught this, along with old religious beliefs, over and again for many years has had a tremendous impact on our society, especially in the area of intimacy and sexuality.  Some people actually began believing that girls never thought about sex, and believed that they certainly never desired sex.  People began seeing children -- most specifically girls and young women -- as being A-SEXUAL (asexual meaning "without sex").  They got a picture in their head that all young girls should be this way, in their frilly little dresses, playing with dolls, and daydreaming - not about sex, mind you, but about how some day some wonderful guy would come along on a white horse, marry them, and take care of them the rest of their life.  This false illusion was further imposed upon girls, along with the idea that they needed to be a virgin in order to attract a good husband.  Otherwise, you see, they are seen as "used goods", one of the most harmful and arrogantly wrong things we teach our children - even to this day.  We teach that finally losing your virginity to your husband on your wedding night will be this womderful and "magical" experience and that it will unite the two of you in wedded bliss forever.  When it actually turns out to be painful enough to hurt her sex-drive that night, a whole lot of the "magic" of that moment quickly disappears (which can never be re-done).  It doesn't seem to bother the religious conservatives in our country that this illusion often leaves a woman unfulfilled and wondering "what happened?", while the groom goes to sleep happily knowing he was her "first". 

The really sad part of this is that it doesn't have to be that way.  But the way we've sensationalized any situation where an adult has been inappropriately intimate with a child and have allowed witch hunts (like Wenachie, Washington) to go on, has made all adults - even parents - afraid to be "too" intimate with their own child.  It is on that level that the lifelong bonding we want with our children takes place... and we are afraid to go there, lest it be misinterpreted by someone outside the family.  Without the physical touches, caresses and releases their bodies need, deep frustrations set in, starting a "domino effect" that affects every one of us today.  There is more conversation about this topic in the teens and pre-teens sections if you are interested in knowing more about this.

Because we know that this old teaching is not true, and because many women fought very hard for equality, All About Sex does put a little more emphasis on female sexuality.  Traditionally, it has always been accepted that boys NEED sex as they grow into adulthood and that they just naturally wanted it.  "It's just hormones" people would say, as though females were not affected by their body's natural hormones. 

At All About Sex, we know that both males and females of all ages have sexual feelings, thoughts, desires and even needs.  These things are simply a normal part of being a unique individual, something that you are from the day you are born, and they are a normal part of childhood.  So, guys, please understand that girls, as a whole, are now "catching up" and we want to encourage that, as should you.  Still, this is a website about sex and sexuality for EVERYONE (hey!  What a great campaign slogan: "Sex And Sexuality For Everyone" - We'd like a double helping, please!).   Boys are as welcome here as are girls!


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A "Sure-Fire" Way To Avoid Having THE Talk With Your Kids

The best way for you to avoid that really awkward moment when you have to talk to them about babies, contraceptives, acceptable sexual behavior, and... oh, yeah, about not having sex,  is actually amazingly simple. 

If you have talked openly about sex and sexuality in your home, starting on the day your first child is born, and then talked about it often, always making sure they were not confused about something they've seen, heard or felt about sex throughout their formative years, you will not have built up the tension and awkwardness that makes it so difficult for so many parents to talk about sex with their children.

Oh yeah, about telling them not to have sex... the best thing you can do is not to expect it of them in the first place. Anticipating and accepting that there will be a day when your child, at some age, will have some sexual encounter or experience, and hoping that it is a positive one when it occurs will bring you closer to your child - close enough that they won't even hesitate to come tell you when they are considering a sexual relationship with someone.   

See!    I told you it was simple!


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